Nobody’s Poodle – Excerpt

An Outta Botty Experience – (excerpt from Chapter One)

I think I’ve already mentioned that I’m a highly intelligent super-sophisto dog, and understand these kind of things. So I knew there was actually a whole branch of quantum physIcs devoted to studying how things work in the MU universe. A good example of this was the washing machine in our new home. It was a kind of ‘mañana washing machine’. You switched it on, and it made helpful noises for while, but then it would sort of shrug and go for a siesta, and you’d be left wondering if perhaps it would decide to finish the rest of the spin-cycle some time in the indefinite future – perhaps when the sun had gone down and all the other washing machines had sprung into life for a bit of ‘electrodomesticos socialising’. The mañana washing machine always knew if it was a fiesta day. There seemed to be one of those most weeks, and no-one / nothing worked. Again the game was predicting when they’d occur. MUPpet’s Law seemed to have something to do with it, because there was certainly a lot of uncertainty involved in guessing when a fiesta (or the washing machine) would spring into life.

We’d been here barely a week, and we were already finding out that things were hardly ever quite as they initially seemed in this new universe. For one thing, some things could be both true and untrue at the same time, without much of a contradiction, or anyone actually being accused of being economical with the truth. The locals had a phrase that you’d hear quite often: “mas o menos” and there were others: “temporary problem” meant “could take an unlimited number of mañanas”, and “no problem” equaled “time to get really worried”.

Another source of uncertainty in the Mañana Universe was that most of the time, things that could go wrong did inevitably go wrong…..

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