Nobody’s Poodle

Available to purchase from Amazon

Nobody’s Poodle is a wooftastic ‘tail’ about a loveable ex-pat pooch uprooted from his home in cold, damp, muddy old England to start a new life in Tenerife – a Spanish holiday island, located off the coast of Africa.

He writes, from a canine point of view of course, about settling down in a new country, coping with the cultural differences, and learning the language (although woof-speak is universal, mas o menos, there are still some differences which need to be understood, otherwise a dog can have muchos problemas with his furry Latin amigos).

The ex-pat / travel genre has been popularised by some very successful books, but until now man’s-best-friends’ take on it has been little explored. We’re familiar with “Driving over Lemons”, but there hasn’t been a “Bouncing over Bones”. Most of Tenerife’s ex-pat Brits know and love Joe Cawley’s “More Ketchup than Salsa”, but we’ve all been waiting for “More Saliva than Salsa”.

Nobody’s Poodle is much more than an ex-pat diary though. It’s a gripping story, with a plot that is the mutt’s nuts. Our intrepid hero: Gizmo may be more street Doodle than swanky Poodle, but he’s very much his own dog. He’s all about standing up for the underdog, and it gets him into a fair few scrapes on the mean streets of Costa del Scorchio.

He’s also something of a canine philosopher, and along the way you’ll be learning a lot about their universe …

For instance, not many people know that dogs invented the idea of sharing information via a network (their ‘SmellNet’ pre-dates our internet by several millennia), along with on-line messaging (‘SmellMail’), social networking (‘SmellBook’), and wi-fi (‘Wiffy’).

Dogs realised a long time ago that time was more like a small round thing rather than a long thin thing. More like a dog chasing it’s own tail, rather than an endless piece of string, or an infinitely long ladder, or whatever else humans think it’s like.

Gizmo explains that dogs are like Zen Buddhist monks. They live in a present tense universe, they’re dogged, and they’re stoic. They accept what life throws at them, which is just as well considering some of the smelly stuff that gets thrown his way and just misses the fan.

Full of twists and turns, with a cast of wonderful woofers, and some beautiful illustrations, it will make you laugh and it will make you cry. It’s a book for dog lovers of all ages, an insight into the canine universe, and a celebration of their Zen-like stoicism in the face of human stupidity, indifference, and cruelty.

Quite simply it’s the dog’s danglies of a book.

By the way, some of the profits from Nobody’s Poodle will be donated to help the animal rescue shelters in Tenerife.



Chapter One: The Dog Bowl of Life
Chapter Two: An Out-of-Botty Experience
Chapter Three: Mean Streets
Chapter Four: Fighting for Life
Chapter Five: Friends Re-united
Chapter Six: A Very Special Dog
Chapter Seven: Wind of Change
Chapter Eight: I Woof therefore I Am